The old one-two again

Oh God, I’m so tired of this.  Why is it that the moment you’ve calmed down from defending yourself against the ‘straight women who write m/m fiction ought to be ashamed of themselves for exploiting gay men‘ debate, you get hit with the ‘women who write m/m fiction ought to be ashamed of themselves for their misogyny‘ stick?

I’ve been holding a long email conversation with a lady who is convinced that misogyny is at the root of my writing, and at the root of the reason why (she thinks) no m/m writer in existence likes her book.  Now she says that because I don’t admit to being a misogynist, I must be so ashamed of it that I’m lying to her.

What do I do?  Ingrained politeness tells me that I must not be the one to put a stop to a conversation.  My religion tells me I must turn the other cheek and forgive seven times seventy times.  But dear God, it’s so hard!  And in the mean time I’m losing the will to write anything at all.

Do I tell her that the conversation has gone on too long and it’s a threat to my mental health?  (It really is making me that angry and depressed.)  Or do I wait a couple of weeks, until my anger and depression have eased a bit and then give her a polite answer back – thus prolonging a conversation that makes me feel like this almost every time?

Or do I just grow a thicker skin and laugh it all off?  I think that may be the ultimate answer.  But will a thicker skin make me more insensitive?  I’m not sure I would want that.  I guess you need callouses on your skin for walking or for playing the harp, but do you need callouses on your soul to be able to write?  I somehow can’t imagine they would make you write any better.